Heyyyy guys, just wanted to brighten this website up even more with some jokes!!

I'll start off with a few:

Tom: Have you got any holes in your pants?
Tim: No, certainly not.
Tom: How do you get your legs through then?

Wife: How would you describe me?
Husband: ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: What does that mean?
Husband: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, Hot.
Wife: Awww thank you, but what about IJK?
Husband: I'm Just Kidding.

Q. What did the traffic light say to the motorist?
A. Don't look now i'm changing.

Feminists

@SoccerBoss The savage level of this comment is over 9000. :)

Donald Trump

Lol!! :)

Mr humour's a bit f*cked...

Why does Paracetamol work?

Because it's white.

Whats black and doesn't work?

Half of London.

Why did Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

Have you tried Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

How do you kill 50 mosquitos in 1 second?

Hit a somalian in the face with a shovel.

@ramaboy10 Wow, savage. Luckily, this a only a joke thread. :O

@ramoboy loll racist!!

@liomessi10 He's making racist joke lad, not exactly the same as being racist. :P

^yeh i know! :D

@quikzyyy Damn it man, you gonna get some triggered people soon. :P

I got some very dark jokes, but that'd be probably too much for some people

I heard this from an old man, and couldn't stop laughing

"How do you know your wife died?...The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up!"

How are an alcoholic and a necrophiliac alike? They both like to crack open a cold one.

There you go quik

@quikzyyy Same, but after what I posted there got that response I won't post anything darker than that :p

Knock knock

Here's a funny joke:

Manchester fucking United

@SunFlash... totally agree!!

@Sunflash Its not a funny joke, its pretty sad in fact. :(