Footaholic
12 years ago
Sorry, I'm not sure why it auto-compresses the text. I purposely split the article so that his wouldn't happen. Oh well.
Anyway, I thought the article was brilliant, except for the end. I told the author as much so here is my ALTERNATE ENDING:
"The fat man is a trojan horse that stirs up the unlearned citizens of the kingdom against their long-serving council. He promises jewels and triumph in an attempt to conquer the historical kingdom of Arsenal and rename it Usmanostan. The usurper would discard the noble precepts of the old kingdom and raise his own army of mercenaries. He will conquer all before him but those under his rule will bear great shame at having become a kingdom of pimps and whores. He will continue to dominate all that is before him until such time that he returns back East, from whence he came. The mighty army of mercenaries will abandon their posts, leaving the old kingdom an unrecognizable ruin of its former self, and its inhabitants starving paupers."
"Then one day a dark shadow was cast
across the land.... It was from the Caspian Sea and it came in the shape
of a Simple looking man. This man was called Roman and he descended
upon the country showering gifts of Gold and Silver and other fancy
stuff. He coveted what the mighty Kingdom of Arsenal had, and set about
stealing it. He started by acosting a young soldier called Ashley and
even tried to buy the bravest soldier Henry XXIV and the great commander
Arsene himself with promises of wealth, however a men of honour, both
Henry and Arsene said no choosing to stay with the beloved Kingdom.
Unfortunately Romans arrival led to other
foreign invaders coming to seek glory and rewards from the green
meadows of England, A Randy man from the Wild West came and bought a
Villa in the Midlands, as did a Family from the USA who sounded like
they made Glass and owed money to many, But the biggest and richest
invaders came in the form of the Oil rich barons of Persia, they made
Roman look simple (Not hard) and poor by comparison. And rather than
wage war with their own soldiers they instead hired mercenaries to
defect from their own Kingdoms and join their ranks..... Peter of Hill
Wood was facing a real dilemma, for years ago he had fallen out with his
trusted advisor David of Dein and was now being advised by Ivan of
Nike, he was different to David as he purely thought about keeping the
majority of the riches that the Red Army had plundered.
However all was not lost it seemed as
like the Villa in Aston & the Red Devils in the North help had
seemingly arrived in the shape of a Moustachioed Prince from the West
called Samuel, he was the ruler (or rather married to the heiress) of a
great Wall of Mart and surely he would be our saviour who promised
riches to the Soldiers in return for their loyalty and bravery.
There was also a fat man from the East
who also coveted what the Red Army had & he peacefully tried to give
us his riches in an effort to help conquer all before us. However due
to Peter of Hill-Wood and his advisors preference, the Kingdom of Red
chose the one with the hairy lip and this seemed to be a huge mistake
for he was of the same thinking as Ivan the terrible in keeping the
riches and stifling the development and strength of the Red Army. It was
at this point that the great Knight RVP who had slain many the years
before chose to move away from the Kingdom, leaving only it would appear
the women and children behind....
So what happened next?
I guess we'll have to wait and see...."