Worst Premier League Team of the Year

Written by @Ste_Lawson

On Sunday night the PFA Team of the Year was announced. And although there were very few shocks in the ‘Best XI’; it did make me wonder about the players who make the likes of Suarez and Hazard look so good. Therefore I have crafted my ‘Worst Team of the Season’ based on facts, statistics and my own opinions.

So where would be better to start than the goalkeeper…

GK- Keiren Westwood – Sunderland

Now if this guy was a vegetable he’d be a leek, conceding a massive 22 goals in just 852 minutes for the Black Cats. Westwood failed to keep a single clean sheet in any of his 10 games, but in his defence, well they’re not much better actually. Overall, it has been a season to forget for the Irishman, who has been out injured since the 2nd November.

RB – Fabio – Cardiff

Ironically his nickname is ‘Fab’ but his season has been far from it. The young Brazilian is still learning the game, but like his brother, he always seems to be a liability at the back. Cardiff have only managed 2 clean sheets when he’s played, and they’ve also averaged conceding a goal every 45 minutes. With no goals or assists to his name, 13/14 hasn’t been kind to Fabio.

CB – Younes Kaboul – Tottenham

Tottenham have lacked consistency this season, yet one aspect that has remained has been defensive errors. Spurs have shipped 22 goals in the 917 minutes that Kaboul has played, and have averaged a clean sheet ratio of 1:6. Although the Frenchman has contributed 1 goal and 1 assist; he has also gained 1 yellow and red card. Another forgettable year for Younes.

CB – Nemanja Vidic – Manchester United

This man has been a shoe-in for the Premier League’s ‘Best XI’ in seasons gone past. However, this time the Serbian has suffered. United have been like the Titanic this season, which has triggered the captain to jump ship (to Inter Milan). Just 7 clean sheets in 22 appearances for the Red Devils, highlights the downward slope of his season. Despite missing large parts of the season, Vidic has still managed to get himself sent off twice this year.

LB – John Arne Riise – Fulham

Fulham have the worst defensive record this season, so a defender making this team was inevitable. The former Champion of Europe has had a fall from grace. Fulham have conceded a goal every 33 minutes when Riise has been playing, and have only kept out the opposition once. I think it’s fair to say that a second hand kitchen roll would have more clean sheets than the Norwegian. Retirement is looming for Riise, and he isn’t going out with a bang.

RM- Erik Lamela – Tottenham

Erik Lamela became Tottenham’s record signing when he joined from Roma for £30 million. Unfortunately for Spurs he hasn’t taken to the Premier League and has only made 9 appearances. The 22 year old has struggled to find any form with just one assist. In other words Spurs have paid £100,000 for every minute that he’s played. Lamela might be going on a plane this summer but I doubt it’ll be to Brazil.

CM – Marouane Fellaini – Manchester United

You know you’ve had a bad season when Nathan Cleverley is ridiculed less than you. Fellaini has personified Moyes’ failure as a manager. The big Belgian was bought for £27million on the last day of the summer transfer window. Fellaini has been a shadow of the player he was at Everton, and just looks lost in games. Moreover, he hasn’t managed to gain a single goal or assist. To summarise, the only impact he has had on the opposition has been with his elbow.

CM – Wes Hoolahan – Norwich

Hoolahan has gone from ‘fan favourite’ to rotting reserve. The Irishman was a key player for the canaries last year but since announcing his desire to leave the club he has lacked quality. With just 1 goal and assist in 16 games this attacking midfielder has highlighted Norwich’s struggle for goals and when in a relegation battle players like Wes are not needed. A drop down to the Championship might suit him.

LM – Nani – Manchester United

What’s red, frustrated and full of regret? A United fan with ‘Nani’ on his shirt. Now this winger used to be a must for any fantasy football team, but this season has proved otherwise. Nani has failed to contribute to any goals for Manchester United (and he isn’t exactly renowned for his defensive help either). The Portuguese international struggled under Moyes’ leadership and looks destined to be exiting Old Trafford at the end of the season.

ST – Jozy Altidore – Sunderland

There’s been a number of strikers who have really struggled this season, but very few have looked less dangerous (not literally) than the big man. Altidore arrived at Sunderland with a terrific goal scoring record, yet he has only managed to score once in 28 appearances this season. The American has looked like a poor man’s Emile Heskey and his slow style of play doesn’t seem suited to the Premier League.

ST – Ricky Van Wolfswinkel – Norwich

Luis Suarez has managed to score 2 more goals than the whole Norwich squad. But when Van Wolfswinkel scored on his debut against Everton, Norwich looked to have filled the (very large) hole that Grant Holt had left. Unfortunately, the Dutch striker hasn’t scored since and has only managed to add one assist to his long name. His poor finishing has cost Norwich vital points and potentially their place in the Premier League.

(Dis)Honourable mentions

Iago Aspas Fernando Torres Jack Wilshere Jonathan Walters Scott Sinclair Matt Jarvis Steven Naismith Aly Cissokho

Erik Lamela is a very bad move by Spurs and his gameplay is more fit for other leagues than Shitspurs.

where is Cleverly? :/

We are missing Demichelis.

I don't think it is fair to include Vidic ....

This is so biased against United...
First of all, Vidic? Are you joking? Vidic when he plays has been one of the best defenders in the BPL this season and even if he does, underperform, there is no way that he is deemed to be in the "Worst EPL XI of the year". Absolute joke.
And Nani?
Really? He's only played 6 games this season for United. To say he's in the worst EPL XI solely based on the 6 games is just ridiculous.

Finally we come to Fellaini. Listen. I know he's not world-class and he's not exactly United quality but slowly and steadily, he's been showing more and more confidence and he's become a decent player for us. He's been shitted on so much simply because he was expensive. Just because he was bought for a ridiculous amount of money doesn't mean you can judge him based on money. He is in no way the worst CM in the Premier League.

Funny how there's absolutely not a insole one from Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool or City...

(I am aware that @Eden17Hazard17 didn't make this.)

where is caroll and downing

@manutd because we didn't have players who underperformed. That's why we are the top 4. It's what happens when you are a top team, if you underperform, people will sh*t on you for months. I wouldn't say this is the worst XI of the EPL, but it is very very underwhelming. I agree on Vidic, he wasn't great but there were way worse defenders this year. Kolo Toure for example wasn't the most reliable.

If we were really making a worst XI we would just select the whole Cardiff team, because you know, they are at the bottom.

Hasn't Nani been injured for the majority of the season? Vidic's inclusion to the team seems to be too unfair for me. Lamela has been a poor transfer, but he's still a great player. Just not the Premier League type of player.