Hi everyone. It’s ya boi, Lodatz.

So, I felt inspired to write some long-winded articles, because I've gathered that there’s something of a consensus among some contributors to FootyRoom’s forum that England are, well, perennial flops, and that this is the DNA of our football. Oh, and that we lack flair and intelligence, of course, can’t forget that, not to mention the fact that when teams cheat against us or when the ref makes a bad call, this is merely evidence of the English not knowing how to deal with the dashing cunning of more worldly football.

Of course, that’s pretty insulting, but I’m not writing here to complain about that. Instead, I think it would be better to simply show why I think this isn’t true. In fact, I would go so far as to say that by and large our track record in living memory has been to perform quite well, and usually end up taking eventual finalists and champions to penalty shoot-outs, often without the services of players who have been sent off.

England do indeed usually go home disappointed, but also quite often with a lot of pride, and far more regularly than one might think, grounds to feel aggrieved. So, saddle up for a parade of whiny English excuses as I delve into the (recent-ish) history of the England national team, starting with:

The shocker for me with England is that they have so much talent, player wise, that I scratch my head at why they dont go farther or have more titles. On paper, which is the key thing here, they should be favorites against most teams. Their players are from some of the best clubs, in the best league (EPL), and yet they fall some how. I wont go into getting cheated or bad refs, that is a rabbit hole I dont want to travel down.

The joke with my group is that if it comes to PK's, England will be out. The other joke is that they have some of the best rosters in the world, yet cant play well together, which ends up being their downfall.

For me, and many I know, England is always a top team and one of the favorites to go very far in a cup, but none of us pick them to win it all.

See? This place remains just a hive for hating England

Let's be real, as a neutral fan I always hope the best football wins, but there's literally not a single reason why would any neutral want England to win with what they show on big tournaments. England have more talent on the bench than most of the teams, yet it's not seen on the pitch

Thing is for almost the whole season English fans hate each other due to club rivalries and just for 90 mins they want to put on a three lion's jersey and pretend like they are brothers/sisters. Sorry but we tend to read through all the hypocrisy. Good for the players if they win something.

Yeah, I'd rather kill myself than support the same team as lodatz. I mean Fr.

@tuan_scum:

Yeah, I'd rather kill myself than support the same team as lodatz. I mean Fr.

Feel free to hurry up, you bigoted scum. Congratulations again on killing the forum first.

Also, a big Fuk U to anyone who upvoted him. 😘

Incidentally, update time.

England were easily one of the best teams at the 2022 World Cup, losing narrowly to France (also one of the best teams in the world) thanks to a missed penalty by Kane and an opening goal for France which should not have stood since a clear foul was missed in the build up.

Still, encouraging. Let's see how Euro 24 goes!

@Lodatz To be absolutely fair, I have to agree with you on this, I was one of those doubting England and Southgate before the World Cup but I can tell when I was wrong. England and Southgate really convinced me during the world cup, they did extremely well and were quite effective all tournament long only losing to France on small details. Same France that went on to lose the final only on penalty.

The great thing about this England team is that they are constantly bringing great player to replace those getting older and it doesn't feel like the end of a cycle at all right now. I mean, they got Saka, Foden, Bellingham, Maddison, Grealish, Rice, Rashford who are all either in their prime or still relatively young. You feel like this England team could keep on going strong for a long time.

Sure, some will argue that Southgate haven't exactly beaten a lot major opponents with his playstyle but considering the demand from international football, the consistency with which he keep bringing England at important rounds of tournaments is a feat in itself.

This time around, I'm gonna back Southgate during the Euro and look foward to what he and the England National Team will be able to achieve.

I think it's more an issue that English coaching has been genuinely awful for 30 years, since Bobby Robson. And by that I mean English coaches, rather than excellent coaches like Erikssen and Capello who coached England

Those were low points all by themselves, but, not a problem for anyone else. I don't mind Southgate at all, but the fact that he's the only decent choice is damning all by itself.

I would have an orgasm over Guardiola taking on the role, but we all know that wouldn't happen.

I would have an orgasm over Guardiola taking on the role, but we all know that wouldn't happen.

Never say never, he can't coach City for eternity and then you'll have a lot of people with power who might influence him. However, as much as I'd love to see Pep coach England as well, I'm not sure it would be for the best, club football is very different to internation football so his philosophy and gameplan might not work that well with a national team. Knowing Pep, he would adapt and tweak to find some sort of success but it might not be as good as some might expect at first.

UPDATE: Well, we all saw Euro 2024. England were finalists again, losing narrowly to the brilliance of a Yamal-led Spain.

Southgate did better than any England manager since 1966. Fair play.

I guess we'll see what Tuchel can do, and how much longer Kane will last.

Southgate did just fine, but English fans and global expectations are brutal, so anything less than winning it all is deemed a failure. It's sad that sports have such conclusive opinions, especially given that most of those talking have never played at that level, if at all.

However, players and coaches make a crap ton of money, money from everyday people like us, so why not expect more? On paper, England always appears to have one of, if not the strongest, rosters in any tournament they play in. You can thank the EPL for that.

The hardest part about international football is the lack of time and consistency the players and staff have. Short camps, spread all over the place, quick fixtures, and then boom, a major tournament. You also have to deal with personalities, play styles, coaching styles, travel, conditions, etc. It is rough!

Tuchel is a solid coach and might bring an element to the English team that pulls the players together. You won't win a title with individuals!

I am super jazzed about Ancelotti going to Brazil. He still has his work cut out for him as this version of CBF leaves a lot to be desired, but he is an incredible coach and the players will surely respect him.

I am still happy to have Pochettino as the US coach, despite the recent poor play from the team. It’s a solid group who just needs to get their heads out of their butts and play for their country!

Southgate did just fine, but English fans and global expectations are brutal, so anything less than winning it all is deemed a failure. It's sad that sports have such conclusive opinions, especially given that most of those talking have never played at that level, if at all.

I don't agree that it's the case of England fans expecting only victory, and that this is largely misunderstood across the Pond. As I've detailed in this thread, largely our frustration comes from the times we've been screwed over, lost on penalties or just played like crap (2014 anyone?) when we know damn well that we have some of the best players in the world. The expectation that is perceived is really more of a desperation instead, as it's been so long since we lifted a trophy.

The last few tournaments where we've performed arguably to our level have been refreshing, though. Mainly the pain I remember from the earlier ones revolved around a sense of injustice for all those poor officiating decisions which always went against us, or the frustration of some moment of luck or stupidity likewise hamstringing the team. Honestly, the last few tournaments, aside from the annoyance of France's opening goal in 2022 coming from a passage of play which shouldn't have been taking place, what's been refreshing as an England fan is the lack of those dodgy ref moments, and our subsequent fortunes risings.

It's almost as though without something literally working against us, we actually do quite well. Sure, we still haven't won, and maybe we won't manage to keep up again for a bit, but it just felt good to see the Three Lions actually competing at the level their squad deserves, proving that we really can play.

As for Tuchel, I agree he's a good candidate to bring these players together into a system. The only question I would ask is: will the system suit us?

England are always accused of being unimaginative as a team compared to the way they play at all their club teams, and there is some truth to that given the lack of decent English coaches from this current generation of former players (who all decided to become pundits instead). All the same, it's notable that the last few times we've done really well was when we had an English coach: 1990 under Robson, 1996 under Venables, even 1998 under Hoddle, and now the 8 year period of Southgate. For all the grand managers we've invited to come coach us from across the continent (Eriksson, Capello), it's still the ones who understand us best who seem to get the best out of us.

I hope Tuchel can take his time at Chelsea, and his familiarity with Kane, as insights into our team/league, and make the most of what we've got. I guess we'll see. :)